Dear God, no, do not let them know this, do not let them know the great accumultion of all of this, this agony and joy, this misery, this solace, this reaching, this gouging pain, this…
i knelt in the sand, i started to cry. Dear God i cannot… but i will. I will.
i sobbed aloud. i collapsed weeping. i am one of them! and i am your son! i am your only begotten son! and driven here by your spirit, i cry because i cannot do anything but grasp it, grasp it as i cannot contain it in this flesh-and-blood mind, and by your leave I cry.
i cried. i cried and i cried. Lord give me this little while that i may cry, for i’ve heard that tears accomplished much… Alone? You said you wanted to be alone? you wanted this, to be alone? You wanted this silence. Don’t you understand the temptation now of being alone? you are alone. well, you are absolutely alone because you are the only One who ca do this!
i’d always knew known who i really was. and i’d chosen not to know it.
